Welcome to where the Autistic Lincs interviews live!

 

 

Deeper dives into some awesome or just interesting autistic or otherwise neurodivergent folk in Lincolnshire.

(we are not always people to shine the spotlight on ourselves right!?

 

Check back for more as and when, updates on Facebook!

 

 

 

Enjoy! 

 

 

 

Living  AuDHD 

 

 

Who are you and what do you do? (and Why because I'm interested in your pieces being so personal and willing to be vulnerable in your writing and I wonder if that's always been the case?)

Hi, my name is Milly, aka. Living AuDHD! I have lived experience of autism, ADHD, OCD, and CFS/ME. I create blogs and resources for neurodivergent people, advising on practical, neuro-inclusive strategies for managing daily life and embracing their neurodivergent selves, as well as critiquing mainstream autism research and raising up autistic voices. I also want to offer lived experience support and consultancy services, which I’m currently setting up. I’m also a writer, of both fiction and non-fiction, with a focus on neurodiversity and disability.

A lot of the resources and support that neurodivergent people receive aren’t developed by people with lived experience.

Many neurodivergent “experts” are not neurodivergent themselves, and often create materials that pathologise neurodivergent differences. These can be hugely detrimental to our mental wellbeing and self-understanding. If I have a goal, it’s to help neurodivergent people to build their self-belief, live authentically and be heard.

 

What's your journey been like as an autistic and otherwise neurodivergent person in Lincolnshire?

To be honest, I have struggled a lot in Lincolnshire, as it’s so rural and has limited transportation links. This has left me out of the way, with limited community support. I’ve always loved Lincolnshire, though, for its scenery and laidback nature. My childhood was complex, but I struggled the most at school, and I didn’t even have the language to describe why.

I moved from school to school, trying to fit in and find my place.

The final primary school I went to really traumatised me. They made a bullying situation much worse - and I would argue, actually instigated it by how much pressure they put on the students. I’m still working through school trauma to this day, and it’s an issue that I want to raise more awareness of. My parents took me out of school at age 9, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I felt free at last, and didn’t have the constant daily traumas of school to worry about. It came with its challenges, but my Mum was wonderful and really supported me to be myself, though she didn’t realise I was neurodivergent at the time. I struggled a lot in my teens with OCD and anxiety, but she always felt there was something more going on.

Back then, there wasn’t the same understanding about autism, and I was never considered for an autism or ADHD assessment, though I do think I was showing some very clear signs at the time. For example, I was very academic, but couldn’t follow instructions or pay attention fully.

In 2015, I started my Creative Writing degree with the Open University and this really opened up my life. Writing gave me an outlet to explore my feelings and escape into other worlds. I really struggled with sensory issues during my university years, though. This made it difficult to go for a walk or to hospital appointments or supermarkets.

After I left uni, I discovered neurodiversity, and began to suspect that I was autistic with inattentive ADHD. This was where things started to get so much better for me. Before, when I thought it was anxiety, I was constantly trying to force myself into overstimulating situations to try and “declimatise” myself and “get better.” Now, I had the validation and knowledge that this was something built into me, which I had always suspected. It gave me “permission” to take a step back and respect my own needs. Although I still obviously struggle with sensory challenges, I can manage them better because I feel in control and know that it’s okay to struggle with overstimulating environments. It’s not my “problem,” it’s part of who I am.

Transitioning into “the world of work” has been challenging for me, with lots of ups and downs. Over time, I’ve found remote working has been the best option for me, and I’m really passionate about helping neurodivergent people to find work that’s manageable and genuinely enjoyable (if they want and feel ready to!).

I have definitely slipped through the net in so many ways. In school, I struggled with making friends, concentrating, and retaining information. I think because I was such a “good student,” I wasn’t considered a priority for support and people just assumed I was okay. This went on into my mental health treatment by CAMHS.

I was seen by some very compassionate and supportive people, but they still didn’t spot that I was AuDHD, and my challenges persisted. To be honest, I think the support you get from the wider neurodivergent community is better than anything the mainstream services have to offer.

What do you enjoy?

I enjoy creative writing - prose, poetry, life writing, essays, blog writing. It’s very cathartic to explore my experiences and feelings, sometimes through the lens of a fictional character or abstract imagery. I’ve always had an intense special interest for words, from reading stories to studying Japanese. I also like music, indie gaming, making jewellery, and walking in nature. I think as autistic people we’re lucky to appreciate our hobbies so intensely. I also like hugs with cats and dogs (naturally).

What do you struggle with?

Injustice. Seeing other people suffering or being treated unfairly. I can’t keep my mouth shut, which I’m proud of in many ways, but it’s made my life difficult in others, because neurotypical society expects you to just go along with systemic injustices.

Aside from this, I struggle a lot with sensory and information processing. I can’t always manage when there are lots of different obligations and tasks to juggle. I struggle when attending new buildings and locations, particularly if they’re very brightly lit, and this has made things like hospital appointments, shopping and travelling challenging for me.

What would you say to neurotypical/neurodivergent parents?

Recognising neurodiversity is an ongoing process, and it doesn’t come overnight. Don’t expect perfection from yourself - you might not always understand or get it right at first. That doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. The key factor is listening and believing in what your young person is telling you about their needs - and also listening to your own gut instinct where they can’t convey their feelings. I was often very complacent as a teenager and just went along with whatever clinicians told me, but my mum was sure there was something more going on. I remember getting angry with her at the time, because I’ve always had rigid thinking and just wanted to follow the “rules” (i.e., the CBT worksheets) provided by clinicians. But in retrospect, I can see how she really fought for all my needs to be addressed.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t investigated properly by the NHS at the time, but I still appreciate that she spoke up for me when I couldn’t recognise things were wrong. If you haven’t already, I would also explore whether you also identify with autistic/ADHD traits, because it is highly heritable. Along with this, I would also say that it’s important to recognise both the strengths and challenges of neurodivergence. Autism/ADHD have huge strengths and it’s so important to embrace them. Our neurotype is embedded in who we are, and isn’t to be cured.

However, that doesn’t have to mean “toxic positivity,” and it’s always important to validate your family’s challenges too.

What would you say to the younger generation?

Don’t believe in neurotypical society’s messaging. You’re not “difficult” or “lazy” or a “burden.” You are valuable to this world, exactly as you are. Living authentically is hard, particularly in the current era, because this society values people who will blindly go along with the status quo. You don’t need to prove yourself, or live like a neurotypical person to fit in. Things will get much better as you get older and gain more control over your life. Enjoy your special interests, enjoy stimming, enjoy being yourself. Embrace the positives of being neurodivergent, and manage the challenges. Don’t try to make yourself “get better” or beat yourself up for struggling.

Of course, it’s easier said than done sometimes - and it’s okay to feel frustrated and be open about the negatives. But please know that it’s not a problem with you, but a deeper, systemic issue with how our society is structured. We are living in a world that isn’t built to suit us, and that makes everything harder.

Even if people don’t understand you, always understand and trust yourself.

 

If you want to read MY interview (and more!) with Milly  as she starts this fantastic series, Divergent Voices, please go here! :) 

https://livingaudhd.com/2025/11/06/divergent-voices-callum-brazzo/